Style File: Chloe Sevigny For Opening Ceremony

Ugh, whatever, Chloe Sevigny for Opening Ceremony

Fashion, like my beloved interwebs, is a little bit of a lawless place.  It's sort of like a very chic wild, wild west, and people are pretty much free to do as they please.  And lest we forget that fashion is a fabulous form of art in which everyone can partake, this lawlessness is probably a good thing.

I said probably, Chloe Sevigny.  We get that as the leader of the hipster militia, you are entrusted with the hefty job of spreading your hipsteria like little dew drops of cuckoo every which way you go.  But the thing of it is, I have yet to meet a person alive, hipster or not, who wants to look like a trussed lamb and/or isn't in a wedding circa 1982.  Our corseted model up top is one rather sharp kitchen knife and a bed of rice away from becoming a fancy dinner from an old-timey cartoon.  In other words...:

Oh, but Chloe!  Your crowned lamby look is, in all honesty, the lesser of several evils in your Pre-Spring '12 designs for Opening Ceremony.  Let's all take a look at these:

Chloe Sevigny by way of C+C Music Factory for Opening Ceremony

I swear to everyone reading this post, I used to wear bike shorts identical to these under my fluo Umbra shorts when I was 10 years old.  Listen, I'm not proud, I was too young to know any better, plus, it's really hard to do the running man in Z. Cavariccis, and this was considered the only appropriate alternative.  So in this case, I think we can all agree that Chloe's abuse of this lawlessness is twofold: 1) She brought back a look for adults (excuse me, anyone who is able to shop online and pay $120 for snazzy bike shorts, so perhaps adults who have cold, hard cash burning holes in their perfectly decent pants...) that should have been left in 1992 along with fluo Umbros, and 2) She completely stole just about every look from the famed "Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)" video from C+C Music Factory:

Chloe Sevigny, you're making me sweat 'til I bleed just looking at this collection.  The time has come for you to put your pencil down and step away from the reclaimed wood desk upon which you design.

© 2012 Liz Shields for Bagpoor/I Have A Walk-In Closet But It's In New Jersey...

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